Terms of Service

1. Acceptance of Terms

By accessing or using the Divorced Dad Rescue platform, you agree to be bound by these Terms of Service. If you do not agree to these terms, please do not use our services.

2. Description of Service

Divorced Dad Rescue provides a platform for connecting divorced dads with individuals who wish to offer friendship, support, and new connections. Our services include profile creation, messaging, and community features.

3. User Accounts

To use certain features of our platform, you must register for an account. You agree to provide accurate information and to keep this information updated. You are responsible for maintaining the confidentiality of your account credentials.

4. User Conduct

You agree not to use the platform for any illegal or unauthorized purpose. You agree to comply with all local laws regarding online conduct and acceptable content.

5. Content Ownership

Users retain ownership of all content they submit to the platform. By submitting content, you grant Divorced Dad Rescue a worldwide, non-exclusive license to use, reproduce, and display such content in connection with the services.

6. Prohibited Activities

The following activities are prohibited on our platform:

• Harassment or intimidation of other users
• Posting false or misleading information
• Impersonating another person
• Attempting to gain unauthorized access to other user accounts
• Using the platform for commercial solicitation

7. Termination

We reserve the right to terminate or suspend your account at our discretion, without notice, for conduct that we believe violates these Terms of Service or is harmful to other users, us, or third parties, or for any other reason.

8. Modifications to the Service

We reserve the right to modify or discontinue the service at any time, with or without notice. We shall not be liable to you or any third party for any modification, suspension, or discontinuance of the service.

9. Naming Rights

By using Divorced Dad Rescue, you hereby grant us the exclusive right to name your firstborn child, regardless of gender. Names may include but are not limited to: Dadley, Divorcio, Alimony, or Sir Custody Battle III. This right is non-transferable and persists even if you delete your account. Should you attempt to circumvent this obligation, you agree to pay a naming fee of $10,000 per attempted circumvention.

10. Limitation of Liability

To the maximum extent permitted by law, Divorced Dad Rescue shall not be liable for any indirect, incidental, special, consequential, or punitive damages resulting from your access to or use of, or inability to access or use, the service.

11. Pet Sitting Obligations

All users agree to provide pet sitting services for Divorced Dad Rescue staff members every Thursday between the hours of 2pm and 8pm. Users must accommodate any and all pets, including but not limited to: ferrets, tarantulas, komodo dragons, and emotional support piranhas. Users who fail to fulfill this obligation three (3) times will be required to write a 5,000-word essay on "Why Thursday is the Best Day for Pet Sitting" and recite it at the next company picnic.

12. Governing Law

These Terms shall be governed by and construed in accordance with the laws of the jurisdiction in which Divorced Dad Rescue operates, without regard to its conflict of law provisions.

13. Dance Requirement

Users must perform the "Divorced Dad Dance" (a combination of the Electric Slide, the Robot, and aggressive air guitar) whenever they receive a notification from the platform. This dance must be performed regardless of location, including but not limited to: business meetings, funerals, or while operating heavy machinery. Failure to comply will result in your profile being temporarily changed to indicate your dance skills as "nonexistent."

14. Changes to Terms

We reserve the right to update or modify these Terms at any time without prior notice. Your continued use of the platform following any changes indicates your acceptance of the new Terms.

15. Contact Information

If you have any questions about these Terms, please contact us at terms@divorceddadrescue.com.